He is Jealous for Me.

Written Oct 31, 2010.
Saved as a draft for way too long.

I am not jealous.
I have heard wives be envious of other men that were not their husbands.
I have heard this can be a temptation in marriage.

I have to say…
(And let me preface… I know, we’ve ONLY been married 10 months)
I do not envy in this way.

Not because I get butterflies when I see my husband’s smile. Not because he makes me weak in the knees…

But because,
My husband is honest & vulnerable with me.
My husband prays for me daily.
He prays for our daughter.
He praises God for so many things, being thankful for me, daily.
He helps me & is thoughtful.
He works hard to provide for his family as well as to create things he’s proud to have done.
He listens to me, even when I’m unable to verbalize what’s on my heart.
He reminds me that this love he has for me is not his, but that of my true bridegroom, Jesus.
He is purposeful with his actions.
He asks questions & seeks truth.
He pursues the best path for his family.
He has patience & grace with me in unimaginable ways.

He pushes through all of my impossibilities to show me that I’m worth unconditionally loving, and that that’s possible through Jesus.

He touches me in loving ways, tenderly expressing his affection for me.
He is intentional about making me smile & laugh as though it is the work of his day, the work of his life.

He plays this song for me on the guitar every night before bed:

Great Expectations {Birth & other things}

It could be said of me that I set incredibly unrealistic expectations as my norm.
It’s kind of my way of life.
Miraculously, it works out sometimes.
But… A lot of times I end up completely overwhelmed because..
I.
just.
can’t.
do.
it.
ALL.

Perfect example?
I said I would write about all the vaccines in a helpful, informative, {as much as possible} unbiased way.
I don’t feel like I will ever accomplish that task. Though, I did complete all the research necessary to do so.

I’ve read & researched so many things since finding out I was pregnant.
I started with nutrition & moved on to medical things.
I know all about how devastatingly high the cesarean section rates are in our country {& how scary they are here in Florida}.

One thing I haven’t researched to death is one specific aspect of birth.
When my norm is to set too GREAT expectations… I want to have NO expectations as to how long labor & delivery “should” last.
I want to have no expectations of how it should feel, {though I’ve discovered there is little I can do to change my American mentality about the devastating, overwhelming, impossible pain of the process}.
I want to have no expectations as to what position I should be in when I deliver the baby.
{I have no idea what room in our home I’ll choose to deliver, or whether I’ll be lying down or not…}
I have no expectations as to what my emotional state will be.

I want to set the record straight about something:
I’m not super woman.
I’m not SO brave.
I’m not so strong or courageous.
I’m not so different than you…
Continue reading “Great Expectations {Birth & other things}”