Warrior Woman

BEWARE: Long post.

I’ve been attending this cool workshop for the last few weeks.
I have the privilege of being in the same room with some of the coolest women & hearing them share their hearts for a few hours each week.
It’s pretty terrific.
We’re talking about some hard things, though, so it’s pretty intense, too.
It’s called, “Healing the heart after a challenging birth: unraveling your birth story.”

{So, there’s an answer to the “where’s your birth story” question you want to ask. I haven’t forgotten. It’s a work in progress. It’s hard to process.}

Today, we talked about negative things we believe to be true.
The one I come back to, over & over again, is something that keeps me in a realm of insecurity on a regular basis:

“I’m not good enough.” Continue reading “Warrior Woman”

Joy {and my journey with her}.

Joy has returned to me, after what has been a gloomy several months.

Of course, there are so many factors that have me questioning her return…

Is it that I’ve become SO excited about the child growing in my belly?
Is it that I feel her movements? Is it that I’ve seen her?
Is it that I know she’s a she?
Is it that I again have people in my life who really want to know me?
Is it that I’ve been getting rest again? Is it that I’ve been sleeping in?
Is it that I realize the extent to which I’m blessed with an incredible husband?
Is it that I have people in my life who make me feel needed again?
Is it that I feel good because I’m healthier?
Is it that I feel good because I’m learning so much?
Is it that I feel good because I’m accomplishing things I never thought I would?

Is it that

{in being needed, in having people want to know me, in developing love for this little girl growing within me, in finding rest again, in being loved well by my husband, in learning &  taking action, in making strides in health,}
I’m now confident again that the best thing for me to be is me?

Is it that in all those things I’m reminded {the best thing for me to be is me} because He has a beautiful plan for me? Or because the best version of me is the one who remembers that I know true freedom, that Joy is my friend, that she has a home here in my heart?

This joy has teased me with little glimpses here & there for moments at a time, only to steal away when chaos has returned at a moment’s notice. But she is home again.
And I’m reminded of the ways in which she never left even amidst the sorrow that slowly settled in, threatening her territory.

Joy, you have a home in my heart.
Beauty, your love sets me free.
Truth, you truly satisfy me.
Love, help me in those moments I don’t believe.