As I was sitting

This past week, I’ve been really sick.
It’s required me to do a lot of, uhm, sitting.
As often happens when I’m sitting down, I take notice of my posture.
It’s terrible.
I have horrific posture.

This morning, as I was sitting, I noticed it, again.
I sat up straight – as straight as possible for a person who never sits up straight.

I thought about it.
Why is my posture so terrible?
What affects posture? {…That would lead to my posture being so terrible.}

And then it occurred to me: confidence is key.
{As with so many things.}
We subconsciously associate good posture with confidence, and cowering, hunched over posture with fear or shame.

{I have had plenty of reasons to be fearful and shameful over the years.}

As I was sitting, I thought, God made me to be confident.
I thought about Adam & Eve, the first people, and what their posture might’ve looked like.
{And their transition from walking tall with God, in the Garden, to cowering in fear – hiding from Him, in their shame.}
It’s incredible how deeply – and even physically – our sin affects us.

As I was sitting, I thought, God made me to be confident.
I’ve read the many children’s books on this subject.
I’ve known it to be true.
But I don’t know that I’ve thought about how significant
it IS. Have you?

The same One who created the beautiful stars I deeply admire, the endless ocean which always inspires, the flowers so intricate & tiny, and ALL things.
He took the time to create me.
He took the time to think of all the little quirky ways I’d do things, and He wrote them like poetry into my DNA.
He took the time to give me – of all people – the unique perspective on things that I have.
He took the time to give me these oddly colored green eyes.
He thought of me.
It wasn’t a mindless, factory sort of manufacturing of people.
It was an artist, bleeding over, pouring over, pouring into, focusing on, searching for, and creating His masterpiece.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things which he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10

I’ve often struggled to see my own worth; I’ve given to letting insecurity be my place of residency.
But what if I let it resonate in my soul that the Creator of ALL things good took the time to create me?
And that He thinks I am good. That He calls me His masterpiece?
Well, that changes everything.

Thoughts on my dad, from a new dada

Wow, what a year 2010 was.

After an amazing friendship, I married Lee Anne & then less than six months into our marriage (which has been wonderful) we found out we’re pregnant!!

The journey to marriage involved standing up to my parents, mainly my dad, and realizing that I am in desperate need of wisdom when it comes to making decisions.
In discovering the pregnancy, I have realized just how hard it can be to make decisions, both big and small. Everything from eating right to paying bills to praying becomes more important when you know another human being will be dependent on your success. As the days pass it has become clear that no matter how bad some of my dad’s choices have been, he has always tried to do the best thing for his family, the best he knew how.

When I look back at the story of my dad’s life, I can’t imagine going through the heartbreak of his father’s losing battle with lung cancer (before he even got married). This alone would have me insulating myself and my loved ones from any possible bad thing. And yet my dad has given me the gift of passion for family and a love for Jesus that is blissful.
Growing up with my dad meant seeing people challenged, amused and sometimes confused by his outgoing personality. On more than one occasion he would reach out with the simplest part of the gospel (God in & through, Jesus, loves you) and encourage someone to accept Jesus into their life. Experiencing this as a kid helped me to see how big of an impact any conversation can have, even if the method of “shotgun evangelism” wasn’t a good approach.

Now that I have had years of church experience and seen evangelism done so many ways, I can see that regardless of the long-term effects, my dad was and is trying to love people the way he knows how.
And he’s loved me this way my whole life.

One of the biggest gifts I ever received from my dad is his open display of affection.

My wife just watched a video I recorded the night before I proposed and it was SOOO cheesy & silly that it was hard for me to watch. Displays of affection and love were common growing up with my dad. He was/is affectionate with us and showed his love for my mom through hugs and kisses.

I love you dad, and I look forward to learning from your effort at being the great dad you have been.