Author: John

In the place between desiring the connection we share and being driven crazy by my anatomy.

Seems like it would get easier but as our bond grows stronger it becomes more difficult to suppress my healthy want for you. When we are apart I must constantly remind myself that nothing else will satisfy. Your touch, the smell of your skin, the warmth and intimacy we share…. None of these can be had without being in close proximity.

So as often before, on travel days, I long and desire and hurt and wish and want but ask the Creator of these good things to help me wait.

You are worth it. The us we have been in marriage is worth denying my own cravings, no matter how natural and even good they are, denying them to enjoy you even more when my heart finds its way home again.

But for now, I am just here again.

Tonight as I went to get ready for bed my home felt even more empty. My girls are gone and my heart longs for the embrace of my beautiful wife.

I miss the wheezy sound of my daughter sleeping.
I miss the crackling laughter she makes when I get home.

Most of all I feel this tension. My heart and spirit are close and connected to Lee Anne yet my arms are empty.

We were made for close proximity. No amount of photo graphs, profile pics or even FaceTime chats can make up for the realness of physical proximity. Humans need to feel the person to have a fully connected experience, this only happens in the same space.

Tonight I am connected to her but soon my heart will have it’s satisfaction in my beloved.

Proximity matters.