Mar 22 2020 | 23:48

There’s this book I haven’t read and so I don’t really know its content, but the title has certainly given me quite a lot to imagine. It’s called “The Body Keeps the Score,” and what a true statement that is.
I wonder where our body physically holds our dreams.
I don’t mean the dreams we have in our sleep;
I mean the ones that haunt us when we’re awake.
The thing that we want to do so much that it is in the fibre of our being.
Destiny flowing through our veins – maybe that’s why the artists, the poets, the writers
call it bleeding when their dreams are becoming reality.
Maybe my dreams unfulfilled live in this spot where I have pain in my shoulder,
from my body being tired of the weight of the things I was supposed to put into words for years,
that I set aside while I prop up on one elbow and watch a show
instead, leaving the dreaming
for when I’m sleeping.
Never realizing that’s where dreams go to die.
So slowly, in stolen moments from a life that vacillates
between love and hate,
I am starting to bleed.
Droplets of hope from my veins, in my words,
that are untangling the knots in my shoulders,
 that are letting me breathe more deeply,
that are letting me see more clearly.
Perhaps I’ll get to a place where I’m dreaming fully
and bleeding freely.
Onto the page,
into the real world
of being awake.

1 thought on “Dreaming”

  1. The first time we hung out, you told me about how the body carries shame, and that shame creates a target on our backs. You told me about how in that prison test, the prisoners chose the same people over and over and over because of how they held shame in their bodies.

    This reminds me of that. “The Body Keeps the Score.”

    I especially love the part “Maybe my dreams unfulfilled live in this spot where I have pain in my shoulder”…

    I can relate. When I’m not writing I feel it as a physical weight in me.


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