Being a parent has taught me that I have more to learn than I knew there even was to learn.
One of the things I have always struggled with is structure. I don’t like the idea of having a rigid set of guidelines or rules that determine what I do next. In fact one of the hardest things about school was the projects that couldn’t be done in a day or two, not because I didn’t like the projects themselves but because they required me to plan and stick to a schedule/structure for finished the project over time. Once my 7th grade history teacher called me out in front of the whole class, she said “John likes tests because he doesn’t have to remember to do anything, just show up and take the test.”
She was and is right. My job is requiring us to do a “show and tell” type project for our work activities from 2011. This is largely due to the nature of my job – which is working on a team spread across the country (I only see my boss and co-workers once or twice a year). Besides the feelings of self-doubt about the quality of my work, I am my biggest critic, the project hasn’t gotten done because it requires a start and finish that will likely spread over more than a couple of days. Of course in not starting this project I have now gotten even closer to the due date and the deadline is looming larger in my mind.
Just one example of how I self sabotage my own work. It applies to anything I do, even things like web design and video production which I REALLY enjoy. I will get so overwhelmed by the potential length and obstacles that I just don’t start – until I have a deadline coming quickly.
Listening to the sermon at our church this past week there was one thing that caught my attention. The pastor said, “…everything important has already been done…. Jesus finished THE work on the cross”, and my brain and heart and soul realized that I am free.
Free to start, without fear of imperfection
Free to start, without over planning
Free to finish, knowing THE work has already been finished
Now I just need to embrace Jesus and start….