The pain I am feeling right now is proof that I am slowly learning to love deeply. Being sweet and kind and affectionate have always come easily to me. Most girls thought I was the sweetest guy, unlike their emotionally withdrawn boyfriends, BUT I tend to avoid pain and that means making my love shallow and using destructive distractions.
My normal reaction on a night like this one, alone – missing my wife so much it hurts, would be to spend as much time detracted from the pain. Often this puts me in situations where I can easily be hurtful with what my eyes see or mind dwells upon.
Tonight I have found myself hurting once again but realizing that I don’t want to distract or destruct. Which just leaves pain and a passion that burns. My body and mind long for the moment I can be connected to the one I love…. And only then will I be satisfied. Because the hurt is my heart being stretched over 200 miles, I have let her in completely and it is sooooo good.
Watching this made me smile and hurt a little more.
