Family planning: To facilitate? Or control?

This was started December 9, 2009:

Family planning??
“But you guys aren’t even married yet?”

This conversation… the one about if, or when, we will have kids has come up A LOT in talks with our community. Many people have asked us if we want kids and our thoughts have often turned into chats about this very important part of married life.

To start: We want kids. Lots of kids.

Updated – April 8th 2011

We are now parents – way sooner than we’d “planned.” It is amazing to look back at this and realize just how little we understood of the work it takes to rear a child. Just keeping her alive, the basics, require nonstop effort.

At the same time, I never understood how rich, how deep, how beautiful, just how glorious and redemptive bringing a new human into the world truly is. The process of discovering the pregnancy, changing our whole ‘plan’ for the next couple of years and then the whole turn of events that followed (Lee Anne losing her job, parents moving to Nashville, siblings moving all over the place,  major shifts in our diet & ways of life, etc) made 2010 the year of life unexpected.

We didn’t use hormonal birth control and, as happens, we connected as a newly married couple and weren’t as ‘careful’ in other ways. The beauty and mystery of what happens when a man and woman come together and a human life is begun… it’s beyond words or imagination. Wonder and delight, by Jesus’ grace, is beginning to replace the cynicism and pride I have been known for throughout most of my life.

Jesus broke into our nice little plan (oh, the irony) and brought out something so new and so good that it showed me just how poorly planned my life was/is when I ignore His control/mission/goals/priorities.

And now?

Now I am letting go of the idea that we will adopt when we have all the details together and we have created “stability” in our home. Instead we are going to plan and replan under His grace, to take in another beautiful life for Jesus to do an amazing work through our marriage.

Because the only plan we are going to stick to is this:


“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.”

Our only hope is in Him.

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