The wedding is still three days away but Lee Anne and I aren’t really single anymore. It hit me today that I already have the married man awkwardness about other girls when Lee Anne isn’t around (less awkward but still there when she is around). My whole person wants her. She isn’t perfect, I am aware of her faults, flaws and sinnfulness….
When I look at her I just see beauty, rich and deep and full and wide and REAL.
Even with my past struggles and failure, with pornography and other girls, I find myself loosing interest in anything but intimate adventures with my future spouse. The thing that excites me the most is being her best friend and lover. The combination of compainionship with sexuality just makes me realize that the best sex gets better over time. We get to start that journey in three days but we will enjoy it over the next 30+ years.
So as I look at where I am now: the body needed so much work, the finances still hurting, the mind lacking so much knowledge, the heart still wicked… I see that the journey is only getting started.
We are in the middle. The middle of a story that began with many rough life experiences and will end in a way we can’t imagine. The story is ours to live and His to write.
Everything, everything will be alright.
(Thanks Jimmy Eat World for inspiring some of the verbiage of this post)