The honeymoon is over (before it began)

Today wasn’t that different than many days for Lee Anne and me. We miscommunicated, there was yelling, hurtful words were shot back and forth and at some point we stopped talking. So many times we have started the day or ended the day like this. Many times the fights start with missing a phone call or being late, other times one of us does something really thoughtless or hurtful – every time we see our parents and past relationships roar to life in the current situation.

Many people have accused us of jumping into marriage without having a full idea of what we are getting into.

We are selfish, arrogant, fearful, prideful and too smart for our own good. These are whole categories of sinfulness that come out in different flavors and styles depending on the circumstance (and the number of times we’ve been around the block).

Love is an action. Love is a choice. And love doesn’t guarantee happiness. In fact love can be the very thing keeping someone from doing the thing that will make them happy.

In America the “pursuit of happiness” is built into our “inalienable rights” and every American feels the effect of happiness being a baseline reality for life. Pursuing what makes me happy has created so many painful experiences for Lee Anne that I can safely say “Being happy can make others sad.”

Jesus hung on a cross with huge nails in his hands and feet. No happiness, only hurt and love.

“For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son.”

Understand that God lived in perfect community and relationship with His son from all eternity chose to break that perfection at the cross when He looked at His Son and saw a stranger covered in every sinful thing done by every person, ever.

God loved us, He gave up perfection for us. Jesus loved us, He gave up perfection for us. What was perfect between Father and Son became broken so we could know perfection in Jesus’ healing blood.

So, yes, the honeymoon is over. The honeymoon never really started because we started with brokenness and ended with Jesus. Fully aware of ourselves, fully aware of each other, fully living by His perfection that He gives us for each other.

Many painful days ahead, strange to say 6 days before a wedding. The reality is we will experience a lifetime of pain and hurt, His love is covering us now and will keep us until He comes back to make all things new.

Then the true marriage begins. No honeymoon needed.

(Although, we are still going to Mexico.) 😉

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